In honor of the Superbowl and all things football, here’s a topic that’s near and dear to me: sports rivalries.
Now before the Buckeye nation sets me ablaze for treason, let me explain. As a life-long Bucks fan, born in raised in the heart
of it all, I bleed scarlet–metaphorically and literally. There’s no better team to root for in my book because there’s just no better team. Had to squeeze some shameless praise in there somewhere.
That being said, every kick-ass football team needs a kick-ass rivalry. In addition to these ingredients, we have a few more that make for a decades-long rivalry: hard-core fans, neighboring states, colorful coaches, great universities and buckets of spite.
The Ohio State-Michigan rivalry is as old and epic as collegiate football itself. Which is why the Wolverines need to kick it in the ass and beat us. For a rivalry to be truly great, both teams have to win on occasion. Otherwise the rivalry fizzles. The Bucks have beat the Wolverines eight out of the last nine years. Come on, Wolverines. It’s no fun when you lay down and play dead. Fight back, would ya?
Take a look at the Browns-Steelers rivalry. Yes, it’s still going on but
not like it used to be back in the 70’s and 80’s, you know, when my beloved Brownies used to actually win. The less competition between the two teams, the less the fans care and the less they’re willing to pay to see the game. That’s right
franchise owners, rivalries affect your bottom line. Would I pay out the ass to see the Browns beat the Steelers in Cleveland. Abso-freaking-lutely. And it was rather nice this year, you know, despite the frostbite.
You can bet your sweet touchback that tickets for the next Steelers-Browns game are going to cost you a kidney on the black market. And next time the Steelers will play way better ball–another great thing about rivalries–they inspire better performances from the teams. Teams obviously want to beat every other team, but they REALLY want to beat those dastardly [insert mascot here.] Because rivalries capitalize on heart, not ability. And many times, heart is a hell of a lot stronger.
I’m not saying I’m gonna like it–I’m going to be mad as a hornet and drunk as a…well, a Bucks fan–bad combination. So maybe you should do it in the Big House rather than the Horseshoe. But I’ll recover because I know it’s what’s best for OSU in the long run. So please Michigan, do all us Bucks a favor and win next time.



















