Being the supremely critical connoisseur I am, finding things that I think are worth a)the money and b)telling others about is a rarity. So know that the below should pretty much hold as much weight as Oprah’s Favorite Things. Except that I am not an embarrassingly wealthy, unimaginably powerful, sassy black woman…yet.
1. L’Occitane bar soap ($10)
This is one of the brands I always see in the back of Sephora and think that the purchasers of this line must be a)out of their god damn minds b)stoopid or c)stoopid out of their god damn minds. It’s crazy expensive and French. I instinctively don’t trust it hate myself for not being able to afford it, all at the same time. Truth is one of my girlfriends bought me a bar for Christmas because it’s great for shaving your legs.
This. shit. is. la. bombaaaaa. I cut the hell out of myself pretty much daily with a razor blade. Not in the Demi Lovato kind of way, but shaving. Chock that up as the one girl thing I utterly suck it. My shins are just too jaggedy for normal shaving cream to handle. But this profanely expensive soap is like 12,000 % shea butter or something. I don’t know but it’s a literal gift from God. Seriously it says it on there “made by God, delivered by angels to Sephora so you won’t cut the fuck out of yourself anymore.” Check the packaging, it’s there.
2.) Netflix ($9.99/month)
So i’m a few years late to this party, but I just got it and it’s just seriously kick ass. I watch a movie every other night. I check my mailbox like six times a day now. I have every Jason Bateman movie ever made in my queue. I am in lurve with the ‘flix.
4.) 630 tc Palais Royale sheets at Bed Bath & Beyond ($80)
I am the pickiest person when it comes to sheets. That’s not debatable–my knowledge of threat counts, varieties of cotton, weaving methods and fabric washes is frightening. So when I laid my hands on these mamajammas in BBB, I was truly taken back. You spend too much time sleeping each year to uncomfortably wallow on shit fabric that’s not suitable to make potato sacks from. And these sheets feel like baby ass meets angel feathers. Mmmmm
